I'm still trying to figure it all out. I hate thinking that people are talking trash about me. My brother confirmed that they certainly are. I know that I am not crazy and I know it isn't just me.

Frankly, I have to just let it go. Nothing I can say will ever change the horrible things that they think of me and they are convinced that everything that happens is 100% my fault and they are not responsible for their actions; I am. I can't fix that level of denial and blatant refusal to accept responsibility for themselves. I tried to do the right thing by telling them that I was sorry and that I was owning my own poor decisions and actions. Too bad that all three of them are martyrs and think that things happen to them, and they play no part in any of it.

I just feel, right now, that I keep getting a mirror shoved in my face so that I can examine what's wrong with me. I wouldn't have a problem with that if it wasn't expected to be one-sided. It seems as if I am supposed to atone for my sins and acquiesce, but I better keep my opinions to myself because, after all, I'm "loud and opinionated".

I'll get through this.